Love Delusion: Chapter 8

Lin Anran counted the days. The day after tomorrow, he would have to go to the counseling center again.

Teacher Zhou wasn’t so relieved and she would probably ask about Shang Hao. This was the first time that Lin Anran, a boat drifting along with the flow, made such a big determination to wind up the sails and face the waves.

But as soon as he became anxious, he began to pace around the house repeatedly by himself.

Before Shang Hao went to work in the morning, Lin Anran nervously and nonchalantly mentioned the social account.

Shang Hao said, “Account? I seem to have one, what’s the matter?”

Lin Anran said it was nothing.

Shang Hao’s answer didn’t exceed his expectations. After all, Shang Hao’s public account wasn’t handled by himself, and so this answer was very safe. There was nothing wrong with it.

He obviously didn’t want to doubt Shang Hao. It was just that Lin Anran didn’t realize when he began to count all the gains and losses.

At this moment, Lin Anran was at home alone. He sat in front of the computer with a serious expression, and typed the question “How to distinguish fantasy from reality” in the white search bar.

He moved the cursor and clicked on the first entry that popped up.

“The best answer to this question: In real life, there are often many people who can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality. Everyone is familiar with fantasy and reality, so how can we distinguish between them? I believe everyone is very curious about this. Then let this writer tell you how to distinguish between fantasy and reality. In fact, there is a big difference between fantasy and reality. This writer himself distinguishes them through thinking, otherwise it will be difficult. Isn’t it simple? The above is the method that this writer is sharing. Do you find it amazing? Come and learn together with this writer!”

Lin Anran:…

He was at a loss, and went back to read it again. Once again, he did not understand.

This writer, was he even listening to what he had just said?

Lin Anran flipped through a few pages. After clicking on a few more results, he realized that they were either an advertisement, an unreliable webpage, or he was persuaded to go out and find factory work. Tired, he leaned on the back of his chair and let out a faint sigh.

He didn’t know what his purpose was. He didn’t hesitate to ask everyone to believe that he was with Shang Hao, but it was him who doubted Shang Hao’s existence.

In fact, if he hadn’t made up his mind at the beginning to treat this differently, Lin Anran wouldn’t have bothered to think about it this much. He was just scared.

At this moment, Lin Anran had a rare realization about the troubles of not having any close friends. Otherwise, he could show those photos that included Shang Hao to a third person.

First of all, it wouldn’t be feasible to show it to Peng Peng. Yesterday, when Lin Anran told him he had a partner, if he also pulled out the photos and it turned out that there was only a single person in it…

It would just be regarded as a supernatural event.

Lin Anran thought that if, at that time, if the photo only had himself, he would wholeheartedly reject this kind of fantasy. Just thinking about it made him feel very uncomfortable.

No more thinking about it. If he could keep Shang Hao safe inside his snail shell, then he might as well withdraw completely.

Lin Anran decided to take a different approach and tried several other relatively safe methods at home.

For example, he found a video with the theme “Teach you how to distinguish whether someone is Mr. Perfect (tall, rich, and handsome) at a glance.” For this reason, he also went to find the suits that Shang Hao left at home, and compared them with the details mentioned by the video owner one by one.

What kind of collar support, what mother-of-pearl button stitching, and what kind of flipped shirt collar.

He went a bit overboard. One person drilled through an entire day like this.

In order to do his “Shang Hao” homework, Lin Anran didn’t rest at all that day. He browsed several pages of online reports about this person on major websites.

It was a bit embarrassing to say that he compiled a detailed outline of Shang Hao.

After that, even Lin Anran was reflecting on himself. Was he a bit perverted?

Even though this information was very useful, there was really no excuse. He knew that even if there was a good reason, a normal person shouldn’t stare at another person from behind so fanatically.

As expected of him, Ranran the freak.

…In short, all aspects of Shang Hao were compiled. Including the spectacle in the sky above the hospital on the day he was born, displaying the reappearance of the legend of Ziyun giving off his son, as well as the Feng Shui and numerological analysis of Shang Hao’s life, and an image of a birthmark that a paparazzi had photographed.

It was worth mentioning that the data also showed that Shang Hao had dated 15 supermodel girlfriends, 15 popular actresses, and 15 gossip influencers.

Lin Anran took a deep breath in front of the screen.

This was an amazing set of data.

Lin Anran sorted out the information, while trying to connect this unknown Shang Hao with the person next to him. But the more Lin Anran looked, the less motivated he became.

This method was much the same as the method he’d used to compare the details of the suit just now. It was actually quite pointless to change the soup without changing the medicine.

Lin Anran had experienced this before.

In the past, Lin Anran used to be all alone. He was alone when he came and he was alone when he left. In physical education class, he was also alone. Then he suddenly made some friends.

But the doctor said he was schizophrenic.

For this reason, he was pulled out of school, and for a period of time, he lived in a closed ward of a psychiatric department in Anding Hospital. After he was discharged from the hospital, he was transferred to another school and so he ended up coming here to Jiangcheng.

So, he had experience with having “friends.” Afterward, he also read some books about it. If…he was saying that if the Shang Hao who was with him day and night was really just another personality of himself, Lin Anran thought that “he” would naturally only know things that Lin Anran himself would know.

If he was just a fantasy, then as long as Lin Anran didn’t want him to appear today, “Shang Hao” would happen to work overtime at the company and wouldn’t come back, right?

Lin Anran lay on the sofa and decided to try.

He thought this way, but when the time came, the sound of the key outside the door still came as expected. The door opened and Shang Hao appeared in front of him.

He walked straight in and kissed Ranran’s cheeks and hands.

Lin Anran gave up. Okay, in his heart, he really wanted Shang Hao to come back.

Before going to bed at night, Shang Hao was brushing his teeth in the bathroom in front of the mirror, while Lin Anran stood silently at the door and watched.

“Shang Hao.”

The man turned his head and said, “Hmmn?”

Meeting Shang Hao’s gaze, Lin Anran said with some confidence, “Can I ask you a few questions?”

“Say it.” Shang Hao bent over and spit out the foam in his mouth.

Lin Anran exhaled and raised the phone that he had prepared in his hand. As he stared down at the screen, his breathing became chaotic, and his heart rate accelerated.

When he was checking for information today, he suddenly came up with this possibly safer method.

As long as Lin Anran didn’t know the exact answer to the question, then “Shang Hao” also would definitely not know. Then, Shang Hao’s answer would be different from the official correct answer.

This thought came to Lin Anran’s mind, and he started biting his lip unconsciously.

He felt as if he was now standing on the edge of a cliff trying not to jump, unable to know what was waiting for him underneath.

Regarding this person who was with him, he’ll just give it a try. Give it a try, and if Shang Hao’s answer wasn’t correct…then this method would be considered unacceptable.

Finally, he worked up the nerve to ask the first question.

When he spoke, his voice was very small, as if, if Shang Hao’s voice was just a little bit too loud, it would scare him away.

“What’s your… height?”

Shang Hao said, “189.”

After he answered, he didn’t hear a response for a long time. Lin Anran had interestingly became very quiet.

The answer to the first question was different.

Shang Hao turned his head and caught Lin Anran’s disappointed eyes. He suddenly asked a question, “What’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing,” Lin Anran said in a low voice. “Baidu says you’re 1.8 meters tall.”

Shang Hao didn’t know whether to be angry or to laugh. He immediately said, “Come now. Bring a tape measure and see if I’m missing a centimeter.”

“No need.” Lin Anran shook his head. “I know you’re 189.”

He didn’t doubt that Shang Hao’s height was 189. Now, there were some discrepancies with the data.

Lin Anran continued hiding by the door and asked, “What’s your birthday?”

Shang Hao said it was in April, which was completely different form Lin Anran’s official answer of December.

Lin Anran didn’t give up and asked about blood type, constellation sign, birthplace, and so on. As a result, the Shang Hao in his family seemed to be pirated. Most of the products were out of order, but there were some cases where it matched.

“So,” Lin Anran reluctantly regained his spirit and randomly picked a subject, “what is your motto in life?”

Shang Hao heard this question and was even more confused than Lin Anran. He was speechless for a while before, holding back his anger, he asked, “When did I have this thing?”

For some reason, Lin Anran’s expression at the door became more and more disappointed.

He didn’t understand what was so disappointing about this kind of thing. Shang Hao walked over and took a look at his phone. Oh boy, it was his profile on Baidu Encyclopedia.

He didn’t understand more and more about what was going on in this person’s little melon head all day long.

“Ranran.” Shang Hao held Lin Anran’s face with both hands and raised his head up, desperately needing to stare at that face to relieve his anger. “Listen to me…”

In fact, he couldn’t think of anything to say other than swearing. As he squeezed Lin Anran’s face out of shape, Shang Hao seemed to be considering something. Lin Anran looked at the different emotions flashing across his dark pupils.

After a while, Shang Hao said to him, “How about this. Let me ask you, since the internet knows me so well, has it told you that Shang Hao has this?”

He pushed his sleeve up in front of Lin Anran.

Lin Anran’s eyes widened.

A dark black tattoo covered the smooth muscles on Shang Hao’s upper arm, and it’s visual impact wasn’t weak.

It turned out to be a tattoo. Lin Anran was stunned. Shang Hao usually wore long-sleeved shirts, and so this was the first time he knew that Shang Hao had a tattoo.

It wasn’t a pattern. It looked more like some kind of elegant squiggles, tangling around the skin like dark vines.

“Look,” Shang Hao said. “Is this thing available online?”

Indeed, not very many people knew about it.

Lin Anran recovered from his surprise.

No, this was really available online.

The information that Lin Anran checked was a bit extensive. Wasn’t this the “birthmark” that a paparazzi had photographed and that he had seen this morning?

It made sense that it would change into a tattoo in front of him.

Shang Hao decided to persuade him, “So, how reliable can the information on the internet be, anyway? This thing, not many people know about it, so how can they tell you? If you want to know anything, you might as well just ask me.”

Lin Anran’s mind was in a daze, and he obediently echoed, “Yeah.”

After a while, he asked again, “The internet says that you have 45 ex-girlfriends…”

Shang Hao’s face turned dark again, and he immediately said, “Fake.”

He paused for a moment, turned around and said to the mirror. “You don’t laugh at me, but if you weren’t the first one, how could I like you so much?”

Lin Anran continued to nod in a daze. “Mmn…”

Lin Anran stood firmly on Shang Hao’s side. However, his own deep-rooted pessimism was stronger than his own position.

He was very insecure and had no backbone, and he couldn’t help but start to waver.

Why? It was because this was the first time Lin Anran had fallen in love.

It was very practical and reasonable that he would come up with an attractive, 26-year-old businessman who was single all his life.

Lin Anran’s heart felt a burst of frustration and disappointment.

———
Xixi: If I remembered correctly, Lin Anran’s aunt said he had two imaginary friends when he was very little. So, when he was a super lonely little kid, he was locked up in a psychiatric hospital because he made up two imaginary friends…I can’t–That’s really messed up. I don’t know how it is in China, but it’s normal for little kids to have imaginary friends. No wonder he is so scared to know for sure whether Shang Hao is real or fake. No wonder that Shang Hao being real or fake is even a question.


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Leaf
Leaf
3 years ago

T_T

Sir Meowsworth XVI
Sir Meowsworth XVI
3 years ago

i cri, i rlly cant wait for shang hao to figure out his bf is paranoid that he might not exist :((((

tysm for triple update, i was about to mtl read ahead but i struggled too much @_@

Unknown
Unknown
3 years ago

I tried mtl it too, made no sense..

Zee
Zee
3 years ago

I knew it, he didn’t want to be proven that it really might be his illusion so he didn’t want to show the “proofs”.

Nabong_uwu
Nabong_uwu
3 years ago

My heart aches so much, he is so afraid he is just a product of his imagination.
Thanks for the updates!!!

Reign
Reign
3 years ago

This is so sad. I would be questioning whether every friend or person was real. Thank you for the chapter.

Sugar Tang
Sugar Tang
3 years ago

I was actually right?? I thought when he showed the drawing to Peng Peng, he acknowledged the existence of Shang Hao as his boyfriend, but he himself didn’t actually believe it! This author! Guides me left and right with their words ;-;

Little bean sprout :(( I remember that I myself had imaginary friends when I was much much younger, goodness, that’s really so messed up, that a child getting stuck in a psychiatric ward for that, way to go, something normal is being treated which resulted in trauma. God, just thinking about it makes my heart knot up in pain, that’s just so sad.

Cocole
Cocole
3 years ago

He’s very brave to walk down this path – called the truth

Rexa
Rexa
2 years ago

In normal sense, its normal to have imaginary friends. But looking at Ranran condition at that time, it can be a a whole different thing. He has been abused in his whole life. He do need some counseling considering what he has been go through.

Probably, having imaginary friend while in that condition can be dangerous.

Soridida
Soridida
2 years ago

I dont think that they send him to psychiatric hospital just because he had imaginary friends. It was due to abuse from his mother, antisocial personality, inability to comunicate and imaginary friends.

cynicalreader
cynicalreader
2 years ago

i……… feel so sad I want to hug Ranran

it’s even sadder because we still know so little about schizophrenia in reality and what causes it—just that people actually experience this and have to fight against losing their mind everyday

Akito
Akito
2 years ago

My heart is aching T_T

Dirtyoldfujoshi
Dirtyoldfujoshi
2 years ago

I had several imaginary friends as a child. I grew up to be a writer

Gent-Selyne
Gent-Selyne
2 months ago

“…….the Shang Hao in his family seemed to be pirated.” 😂😂😂

His struggle between reality and imagination is just o(ㄒoㄒ)