As soon as these words came out, everyone in the living room was stunned. Lillian was dumbfounded, not knowing if she should continue to hold the plate in her hands or put it down. Although Victor was still slumped in his cat nest, his ears shot straight up and he raised his head to squint at Fu Zhe upstairs.
The corners of Fu Zhe’s lips were tight as he turned and left, his back firm and decisive. Cerberus immediately tried to catch up. He ran up the stairs step by step, then three steps at a time, until he finally caught up with Fu Zhe at the entrance of the study.
“Master!” Cerberus grabbed Fu Zhe’s wrist, pulled him, and asked in a low voice, “What’s the matter?”
“I’ve told you so many times, don’t call me that.” Fu Zhe looked down at the hand being held by Cerberus. He didn’t see the sun all year round, and so there was a sharp contrast between the color of his skin and Cerberus’. Fu Zhe lifted up his gaze and looked at Cerberus, his usual gentle gaze unprecedentedly indifferent at this moment, giving a silent warning. “You keep calling me Master. Do you treat your master like this?”
Cerberus was startled and let go of his hand. Fu Zhe coldly entered the room. Cerberus squeezed in as he was closing the door, nearly getting his hand shut on in the process.
But he didn’t care about this at all. Half an hour ago, he was so happy to be able to sleep with his master all night, why suddenly…
“How did I make you angry?” Cerberus looked at Fu Zhe, his deep honey-colored eyes filled with anxiety. After he left Fu Zhe’s bedroom, he’d shaved his face and changed into more comfortable cotton home clothes. His aggrieved appearance was completely different from his former gladiator look, but Fu Zhe knew that as long as you gave him a knife, this man would immediately turn into a bloodthirsty, cruel warrior.
Fu Zhe didn’t answer. He looked at Cerberus firmly, as if he wanted some kind of answer from him. The two looked at each other for a few seconds, and Fu Zhe suddenly said, “Kneel down.”
Cerberus did not hesitate to kneel down on one knee. He looked up at Fu Zhe, but could not see any satisfaction or dissatisfaction from it. He couldn’t figure out what it meant. So without hesitation, his other knee also sank, and he knelt straight in front of Fu Zhe.
Just like every time he had made a mistake and was admitting his mistake, he knelt with his back straight straight and his eyebrows lowered, waiting for the punishment that might come in the next moment.
Fu Zhe smiled. He pulled out the flute pinned to his waist and lifted Cerberus’ chin, raising his face so that he could look directly at him. He was unsure whether he was disappointed or relieved as he said each word, “Look, you are still taking me as Morality.”
Cerberus was stunned. Fu Zhe paused, and continued, “You should have known a long time ago that I am different from him. What I want is personality and soul, a lover who is equal to me, not a slave.”
“On the other hand, what you seem to care about is only the violence and arrogance in my soul. So, it’s not suitable for you to stay here anymore. I will never be Morality.”
Fu Zhe turned and walked past Cerberus. This time he won’t be able to stay. Fu Zhe thought silently that he had already spoken to this point. With Cerberus’ cleverness, he should have fully understood what he meant.
Just when he was about to open the door, he suddenly felt that the corner of his clothes was caught.
“I have never regarded you as the original,” Cerberus said behind him. He tightened his hold on Fu Zhe’s clothes and stood up, saying, “I just feel that, no matter what, you will be my eternal master. From the first day you took me away, I swore this.”
Fu Zhe silently closed his eyes tightly. Taking a breath, he turned to face Cerberus and looked directly into his eyes. “Ok, I’ll give you a chance. If my soul is broken now, will you choose Morality or choose me?”
This was like a life or death question. Cerberus opened his mouth and could not make a sound. Fu Zhe had long expected that this would be the result. If Cerberus could give him an answer, it would surprise him.
Fu Zhe tried his best to smile gently. “You don’t have to say anything. When you can really distinguish between me and Morality, and make sure that it is me who you want to accompany, then you can come back.”
He turned to leave, but Cerberus did not let go of the corner of his clothes. Fu Zhe waited patiently. He had time anyway.
“I’ll think about it clearly.” After a while, Cerberus finally let go with difficulties. He pleaded, “Before leaving, I want to make sure of one thing.”
Cerberus hadn’t said it yet, but Fu Zhe understood immediately. So while the other party was still carefully choosing his words, he covered Cerberus’ cheeks with his hands and rose up to kiss him.
Cerberus was caught off guard, shocked. In his daze, he couldn’t react immediately, until Fu Zhe bit his lip hard. Cerberus absorbed the pain and deepened the kiss.
Fu Zhe couldn’t remember the last time he took the initiative to kiss a person.
Cerberus’ body temperature was slightly higher than Fu Zhe. Their breath intertwined, evoking throbbing memories from the depths of his soul. Every move was so familiar, as if he and the other person completely understood what each other liked best, to the extent that this simple kiss made Cerberus’ breath sped up. Unable to help himself, he wrapped an arm around Fu Zhe’s waist.
As a result, the two moved closer together. Cerberus was tall, and Fu Zhe was almost wrapped entirely in his arms. Cerberus carefully catered to him, not fighting too much, so that Fu Zhe was still firmly in control of the kiss.
The hookah was still boiling, and for a while, there was only the sound of tangled water and rapid breathing.
This feeling of being deeply loved was indeed too tempting. Even knowing that it didn’t really belong to him, it was enough to intoxicate him. Fu Zhe tried his best to hold on to his wits, and when Cerberus started rubbing his waistline with his fingers, he finally pulled away from him and took a step back.
Fu Zhe was panting slightly. He stared at Cerberus, whose eyes were stained with a different meaning, and he whispered, “Understand?”
Understand his perspective.
Without giving Cerberus a chance to answer, Fu Zhe hurriedly left the study and turned into the bedroom. He uncontrollably thought of himself as a desperate deserter who had lost his helmet and armor. Yes, he certainly lost.
When the door was closed, a deep sense of powerlessness swept over him. He’d accused Cerberus of not being able to distinguish him from Morality, but could he himself make the distinction clearly?
Fu Zhe didn’t know.
If he excluded the question of the morality fragment, Cerberus ought to have a place in his heart already. He had been alone for too long, lonely for far too long, so that when someone forced himself into his house to accompany him for a while, he felt offended and uncomfortable, wanting to drive the other person out. But when he did so, he discovered that there were traces of the other person everywhere.
He was accustomed to being alone during that long period of waiting, but he had always been eager to be loved.
Cerberus’ appearance gave Fu Zhe what he wanted most. Even though it was not him who attracted the man to follow him, Cerberus’ obedience, loyalty and unadulterated love still made Fu Zhe unable to resist him. The morality that had lived in depravity had completely melted into his soul, giving him memories that were at once sweet and cruel. For a moment, it really made Fu Zhe think that he was the man who’d spent time with Cerberus in the casino.
But when all was said and done, that wasn’t really him.
Fu Zhe sat by the bed, casually picked up a book, and opened it. It was obviously familiar content, but he couldn’t digest it at all. The imprint of the kiss seemed to linger on his lips, and mixed thoughts flooded his mind. He felt irritated from the bottom of his heart.
He couldn’t make the distinction himself, but he asked Cerberus to make the distinction.
Could Cerberus really do it?
Fu Zhe forced himself to be quiet for half an hour, but soon, the smell of roses that still remained on his shirt made him restless. He had never smoked before, but the morality part of his soul was addicted to smoking.
Addiction was seductive. It made Fu Zhe’s mouth go dry, until he couldn’t bear it anymore. Right now, he desperately needed something to divert his attention. It couldn’t be alcohol because it would make him feverish. It could only be the hookah that had appeared in the study.
So Fu Zhe returned to the study. The hookah was still cooking. He sat in the recliner next to the table, took the hose, and once again bit on the mouthpiece, slowly inhaling.
The scent of roses was refreshing, mixed with the taste of tea, calming his soul. Fu Zhe quickly mastered the right frequency of breathing, and the white smoke of rose quickly dispersed in the study room.
When Victor opened the door and came in, he was startled by the smoke all over the room. The strong smell of roses made him wrinkle his nose uncomfortably. He looked for Fu Zhe in the mist, found him lying on the recliner, and said, “Cerberus left.”
“Already gone?” Fu Zhe opened his eyes. The other person had left faster than he’d anticipated. But it made sense, because Cerberus had always been resolute. When Fu Zhe was in his bedroom, he was probably packing up his things already.
At the beginning, Cerberus looked for him alone, but now that he was driven away again, he also left alone.
“Are you okay?” Victor asked softly. He walked to the table and studied the hookah. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You still smoke this thing?”
“Just learned.” Fu Zhe slowly spit out a puff of white smoke, graceful with an indolence that was usually not seen. He handed the mouthpiece to Victor. “Want to try?”
“No.” Victor refused with a smile, “Originally, I already drink too much, and if I get addicted to cigarettes too, I’ll have too many bad habits.”
Fu Zhe smiled and tried to bite on the mouthpiece again. Victor grabbed his hand and put the hose over on the table. He said, “Don’t smoke. Please ask Lilian and me to take care of you now that he’s gone. I don’t want to have another cigarette addict in the house besides an alcoholic.”
Fu Zhe didn’t insist anymore. He pinched his brows, got up, and put out the hookah. With a light wave of his hand, the smoke all over the room dissipated under the power of space.
“I’m just a little irritated. This thing won’t be used anymore,” he explained.
Seeing that Fu Zhe didn’t seem to be affected too much, Victor breathed a sigh of relief. The loneliness he’d exhibited when Cerberus left made Victor guess that they might have quarrelled. He was very worried about Fu Zhe’s situation, so he came up to check in on him.
“Is this really what you want?”
Fu Zhe didn’t answer for a long time. Finally, he said softly, “Maybe.”