NEBM Chapter 22: Guilt-Ridden

It took Yan Jin a moment to respond, even though he understood the meaning behind Shen Zhixian’s words.

His altered formation on Shilian Mountain hadn’t been restored. Since he hadn’t been able to return yet… Third Peak was good at formation. If they discovered any clues and delved deeper …

Master had just woken up and was now already thinking about this?

Yan Jin became worried and didn’t respond. Shen Zhixian saw that he was anxious and tried to soothe him, “Don’t worry. If they ask, just tell them I did it idly for fun. It’s not a big deal, and Third Peak’s people most likely won’t make me loose face over this.”

He’d said so much within such a short time frame that he became a little breathless. He coughed slightly and tried to suppress the itch in his throat.

This time his heart ailment was really a bit severe, even worse than the previous time in the hot spring. He’d woken up for so long, and he still felt uncomfortable even now.

If it hadn’t been because he wanted to take advantage of this opportunity to guilt trip Yan Jin, he would have gone back to sleeping tightly under the comforter by now.

Yan Jin became nervous as soon as he heard the cough. He stood up to pour a cup of medicine for Shen Zhixian.

Shen Zhixian had just drank the elixir and didn’t want to drink it anymore. He waved his hands weakly, frowned, and coughed twice before he tiredly said, “I don’t want to drink. I’m fine. Go and rest.”

He purposefully didn’t mention Yan Jin’s scheme on Shilian Mountain. Aside from stating that he’ll shoulder the responsibility of changing the formation, he’d said nothing more.

Yan Jin felt as if a needle had passed through his thick heart’s wall and fiercely pierced the soft heart within. He couldn’t see the wound but only felt the deep pain of it.

For a moment, he felt completely ashamed facing Shen Zhixian.

The phantom that Shen Zhixian saw in the meadow must be someone who was important to him. Yan Jin didn’t know what they had talked about to cause Shen Zhixian’s emotions to become so chaotic…. This, combined with the trouble caused by the teleportation formation, had aggravated the heart injury to resurface worse than before.

The culprit was him.

Had it not been for him, who had schemed against Shen Zhixian and caused him to be teleported to an unknown location, Shen Zhixian would not have encountered so many things that caused him such anxiety.

Yesterday, Fourth Elder even heaved a sigh, saying that Shen Zhixian almost hadn’t survived. Since the incident at the hot spring, Shen Zhixian’s body hadn’t been very good. Usually, he would get better after taking medicine but now it didn’t seem to make much difference. Therefore, the events in the past few days had been terrible.

But, when Master finally awakened, not only did he not blame him, he’d maintained the front with Fourth Elder, acting as if all was normal, and even took responsibility for Yan Jin’s actions.

In these past few days, Yan Jin was full of regret and shame. The memory of Shen Zhixian’s blood-stained lips cycled over and over in his mind.

After they had teleported back, Shen Zhixian had lost consciousness and couldn’t stop vomiting blood. His hands and feet had turned ice-cold. Yan Jin had utterly lost his calm. He’d frantically carried Shen Zhixian and staggered as fast as he could toward Fourth Peak.

In his panic, he’d forgotten that his spiritual force had recovered and, instead, ran there on his own two legs

Fortunately, he met Fourth Elder halfway there. Fourth Elder saw that the situation wasn’t good and quickly took these two sorry-looking people back to Fifth Peak. Luckily, after some critical care treatment, he’d managed to pull Shen Zhixian back from the brink of death.

Shen Zhixian remained unconscious. The longer Fourth Elder stayed at Fifth Peak, the more suspicious he became. However, after Shen Zhixian’s condition became slightly more stable, he had left and would only return to quietly check-in on the patient from time to time.

Because Shen Zhixian had no other reliable people he was close to, Yan Jin stayed behind to care for him and hadn’t been able to close his eyes for three days.

But, no matter how regretful and guilty he felt, he couldn’t make up for Shen Zhixian’s injuries.

“Master…,” he said in a rough voice. “I’m sorry…”

—Huh??

—Aiya, listen, what did he just say?!

Shen Zhixian was really tired. His eyes were half-closed and his brain was muddled with the need for sleep. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he was suddenly awakened by this sentence.

What did he just hear?!

Yan Jin just said sorry to him!

In that instant, Shen Zhixian became completely awake, feeling as if the pain in his chest had been alleviated by a lot. He really wished he could give Yan Jin a big knock on the head with his knuckle to express his happiness.

When he’d woken up, half of the discomforts he’d expressed had been real while the other half was deliberate. Anyway, Fourth Elder’s medicine truly tasted terrible so his reaction wasn’t completely false.

He’d deliberately exaggerated his discomfort to gauge whether Yan Jin would feel guilty. If he felt guilty, it meant that Yan Jin’s desire to kill him wasn’t so serious that it couldn’t be changed. If Yan Jin did not care….

Then, Shen Zhixian would have to quickly prepare his escape and hide away for a long time.

But, the result was more than he expected.

He thought that Yan Jin would only be silent and well-behaved for a while, but he did not expect that he would directly apologize.

Immediately, Shen Zhixian felt the sweet rush of gratification and wanted to create an even better scene with Yan Jin. He eagerly tried to spit out two mouthfuls of blood to bluff Yan Jin and see if he would panic and scream, “Master, don’t you die!”

….The idea was beautiful, but it was not easy to implement.

Because, suddenly, Shen Zhixian was very tired, so incredibly tired, tired to the point of pain. He just wanted to close his eyes and go to sleep immediately. He no longer had the energy to mess with his disciple and so he could only reluctantly and temporarily give up this little bit of naughty fun.

With a sigh, he tiredly patted Yan Jin’s hand resting on the bed. He said helplessly, “It’s okay. Go and rest.”

“Master …”

The more forgiving Shen Zhixian was, the deeper Yan Jin’s guilt burrowed in his heart. This guilt roiled in layers of waves, overwhelming him.

The back of his hand was patted twice. The cold touch reminded him of that first night in the mountain, when Shen Zhixian leaned into his arms and fell asleep without precaution, his hand resting on Yan Jin’s chest.

Master had trusted Yan Jin to take care of him. In fact, he’d made every effort to care for Yan Jin and had treated him so well…

But, he’d failed the Master’s trust and even used that trust to scheme against him, which in turn caused him to become so severely wounded.

Shen Zhixian was unable to resist his lethargy any longer. He closed his eyes and immediately fell asleep. Yan Jin got up to hold him and laid his body flat on the bed. He pulled the comforter over him and stared at him for a long time before finally quietly leaving.

When Yan Jin stepped out of the house, a worried Xiao Caoya, who’d been waiting outside for a long time, immediately flew over and climbed up to his shoulder.

At first, Yan Jin was afraid that the little grass bud might be too noisy and make a fuss over Shen Zhixian. He wouldn’t let it enter the house and left it to play outside all by itself.

Xiao Caoya also knew how serious the matter was, but it couldn’t control its own enthusiasm and liveliness. Therefore, it could only grumble its grievances outside as it watched for Shen Zhixian to wake up.

After waiting so long for Yan Jin to come out, it immediately looked at Yan Jin’s expression, trying to guess Shen Zhixian’s current situation.

Looking calm, Yan Jin walked out step by step. After the panic of the past few days, he’d finally restored his usual calm.

Xiao Caoya thought that everything must be all right. It was about to pump up its leaves to cheer a few times when Yan Jin took a step, suddenly covered his chest, and groaned.

Black blood splattered onto the ground.

Yan Jin stared at the black blood on the ground with deep eyes that held no emotional fluctuations whatsoever.

There was a voice in his head screaming wildly. His hands clenched into fists as he used every effort to endure. He used so much strength that the back of his hands began to bulge with blue tendons.

Abruptly, he sucked in a deep breath and reached back to pull out his sword. In these past few days, he’d kept vigil at Shen Zhixian’s side. The sword that had never left him was thrown in a corner, where it gathered dust until he’d picked it up just now before leaving Shen Zhixian’s room.

The sword ray was cold and ruthlessly tyrannical, splitting the table made of white jade not far away in half.

As the table collapsed on both sides, Yan Jin fell heavily to one knee, using the sword to keep himself upright. He panted sharply.

Another mouthful of black blood sprayed out, some landing on the blade and slid down, drop by drop.

Xiao Caoya stared, completely stupefied.