NEBM Chapter 43: Untitled

Yan Jin’s usual forbearance disappeared and he exhaled a constricted breath.

Shen Zhixian was overwhelmed and muddle-headed. He blurted out, “Couldn’t help what?”

The moment the words left his mouth, Shen Zhixian regretted it immediately. But, the words couldn’t be recovered, and he could only listen as Yan Jin said, “I couldn’t help…wanting to do bad things to Sui Xian.”

Shen Zhixian, who’d just experienced the “bad things,” couldn’t help licking his lips, which seemed to still carry Yan Jin’s residual heat. His throat felt dry and parched, making it difficult for him to speak.

He’d thought of thousands of defenses to prevent Yan Jin from blackening, to prevent Yan Jin from killing him. But, he’d never thought that he might need to prevent Yan Jin from thinking of him.

Who was he now in Yan Jin’s eyes? Sui Xian or Master?

If it was Master…Shen Zhixian somehow remembered a trending post he’d seen on a forum in his past life.

—On the ranking of high-risk occupations in ancient pure love fantasy novels.

A group had commented: “Congratulations to the Masters for being pushed to the top of the list.”
.
Shen Zhixian: “………”

It was moments like this that made Shen Zhixian somewhat hate his excellent memory. Despite how long it’d been, he could still vaguely recall the delighted congratulations and the many comments that followed.

“Being too good to the disciple, it’s the Master.”

“Being not good enough to the disciple, causing him to blacken, it’s also the Master.”

“To whom the disciple owed a debt to, whether good or bad, also still the Master.

Shen Zhixian: “………”

Shen Zhixian forcibly suppressed his memories of the derailing comments, and thought of Sui Xian again.

Not himself, but Yan Jin’s “Sui Xian.”

He had embraced Yan Jin in his childhood, had coaxed him and treated him well, so well that Yan Jin still remembered this “Sui Xian.”

Was Yan Jin really thinking of him, or did he like him because of this “Sui Xian?”

Or maybe it was simply…

Shen Zhixian was in a complex mood and was lost in thought for a while.

Yan Jin’s eyes dimmed when he saw that Shen Zhixian wasn’t speaking, that his face had an indiscernible expression, and that the faint coldness that he’d always emitted while within the grounds of Qingyun Sect had reappeared. He released Shen Zhixian, turned over, and stood next to the bed. His voice was both tight and bitter as he said, “The disciple overstepped. Master, please have a good rest. I…”

Now, whenever Shen Zhixian heard the word “Master” from Yan Jin’s mouth, his heart would feel constricted and chilled. He regained his senses, stammering to answer while he tried to sit up.

But his mind was stretched taut and the wine hadn’t completely dissipated from his body. When he tried to sit up, he nearly fell over. Yan Jin instantly reached out to steady him.

The moment Yan Jin’s hand wrapped around Shen Zhixian’s wrist, Shen Zhixian suddenly felt a trace of nervousness and apprehension, flashing by so fast that he could hardly follow it.

Hold on!

–This wasn’t his emotion!

That feeling came again.

Shen Zhixian brows furrowed. Although he was shocked that Yan Jin had such an idea about him, he was only shocked. At best, it was a little hard to believe. There was nothing to be nervous about and nothing to make him feel apprehensive–so where did these emotions suddenly come from?

Shen Zhixian felt that he was nearly upon the truth. He used spiritual energy to explore the contract buried deep within his spiritual sea and, sure enough, that kind of nervousness and apprehension appeared again.

Just then, Yan Jin saw that he was sitting upright and released him, causing the emotions to fade.

As Yan Jin was retracting his hand, Shen Zhixian reached out to capture it. He raised his gaze up to look at Yan Jin and asked lightly, “What are you afraid of?”

Yan Jin stared at him, his hand in Shen Zhixian’s grasp suddenly tensing.

–It was Yan Jin who was nervous and apprehensive.

This contract was related to Yan Jin’s emotions?

Or rather, the contract allowed him to sense Yan Jin’s inner voice?

Shen Zhixian remembered the words that he’d vaguely heard several times before and, combined with Yan Jin’s recent performance, he became more and more certain that his guess was correct.

He suddenly felt that it was a little interesting, causing his lips to curve into a slight smile.

Shen Zhixian was such a person. He may worry about something before it happens. But, once it happened, he was the one who was most open to it. Now, the more nervous Yan Jin was, the less nervous he became. It even made him want to tease Yan Jin a little.

He purposefully prevented his smile from widening and quietly said, “You called me Master, but you did such an outrageous thing and didn’t even give me one or two reasons why. You wanted to run instead. Sit down and talk.”

Shen Zhixian exerted a little force, and Yan Jin could only sit down beside him, his back straight, his abdomen tight. He sat in an incredibly proper posture, as if he was in an early morning class in Qingyun Sect, all respectful and silent.

“Hmm?” Shen Zhixian saw that Yan Jin’s lips were tight and his face was very serious. Shen Zhixian wanted to force him to reveal what’s inside his heart, and pretending to be helpless, he said, “Forget it. If you don’t want to say it, then just forget it. Tonight, I was drunk, and I won’t remember anything…”

“You might have been momentarily confused and that was why you did such a disgraceful thing. After tonight, it won’t be counted…”

Before he’d even finished speaking, Yan Jin interrupted in a firm voice, “Master.”

He abruptly stood and swiftly moved over to kneel on one knee in front of Shen Zhixian, reminding him of that time in the secret realm when Yan Jin had kneeled in front of the merman to beg for the inverse scale, for him.

…It was the same now, with absolutely no hesitation.

“Sui Xian…” This time, Yan Jin no longer called Shen Zhixian master. After a long pause, he said, “Don’t forget it, don’t not count it…”

He was on one knee in front of Shen Zhixian, speaking with extreme difficulties. These few words were filled with a little nervousness, a little forbearance, a strong determination, and a blend of desperation and despair.

All kinds of emotions were mixed and interwoven, passing to Shen Zhixian through the contract. It made Shen Zhixian’s heart feel choked, so panicked that he didn’t know what to do.

“I wasn’t momentarily confused. I’ve yearned for it for a long time. Sui Xian, can I do this to you…these disgraceful things?”

Yan Jin looked down and took Shen Zhixian’s hand with both of his hands. Then, he lowered his head and placed a reverent kiss on the back of his hand.

Yan Jin’s lips were hot. The moment they touched the back of Shen Zhixian’s cold hand, he felt as if he was severely scalded, the heat shooting straight to his heart.

His fingers curled slightly, wanting to shrink back instinctively. But his hand was too tightly grasped.

Yan Jin looked up at him, his eyes completely serious and full of hope and expectations.

Shen Zhixian opened his mouth but found that he couldn’t say anything.

He should have refused, but his throat seemed to be locked and he could not spit out any rejections. He turned his head slightly, his cheeks burning hot as he tried to cover up his own unnaturalness.

Seeing that Shen Zhixian wasn’t speaking but also wasn’t coldly rejecting him, Yan Jin’s face slightly relaxed. This, combined with the fact that Shen Zhixian wasn’t angry, allowed Yan Jin to breathe a little sigh of relief and quietly interlocked their fingers.

Shen Zhixian’s fingers moved slightly, but he still didn’t refuse. Therefore, Yan Jin, who won an inch but still wanted to take a foot, moved forward to embrace Shen Zhixian. He buried his head in Shen Zhixian’s neck and slightly rubbed his head against the soft skin there, his small action displaying a sense of being spoiled. “Sui Xian…”

He seemed so happy, brimming with such joy that Shen Zhixian could feel it. Unable to bear it anymore, Yan Jin asked, “Sui Xian hadn’t spoken yet. Do you agree?”

Then, Yan Jin swallowed, and he recited the words in a straightforward way, “Sui Xian, I want to stay with you forever. I want to fold the new spring willow for you and listen with you to the night cicadas sing. I want to enjoy a cup of wine with you and view the Autumn chrysanthemums together. In the late Winter season, I can hold you under the cover, share a pillow with you, and dream together with you.”

He once again rubbed his head against Shen Zhixian’s neck. Shen Zhixian could feel his hot breath brushing against his throat, such that he couldn’t help but shiver a little at the sensation. Yan Jin whispered, “Sui Xian, can I?”

Shen Zhixian: “….”

Shen Zhixian: “???”

Seeing Yan Jin act spoiled for the first time, Shen Zhixian felt as if his head had gone stupid. He almost couldn’t prevent his heart from trembling at these cheesy pickup lines. But, he kept calm with some difficulties and pushed Yan Jin back a little, asking with a complicated expression, “Where did you learn this nonsense?”

—After listening, why were they so familiar?!

Yan Jin allowed himself to be pushed away. After a moment of silence, he honestly explained with an innocent expression, “In the book…”

Shen Zhixian: “!!!!!!”

In the book?

Wait a minute!

That day!

Finally, solved!

Understanding jolted through him, and Shen Zhixian suddenly remembered the book that had disappeared for a long time. “You took my book?”

Yan Jin stared attentively at him and his lips faintly trembled as he pressed down the thoughts in his heart. “Mmn,” he said. Then, he carefully asked, “I saw Sui Xian reading it. You also don’t dislike it, right?”

A mouthful of blood rushed up Shen Zhixian’s throat and he swallowed it back down with difficulty–So, Yan Jin, this low-EQ person, his brain was stirred askew by this thing. Or did it strike the first spark in Yan Jin’s mind?!!

This was really…Shen Zhixian took a deep breath, and then slowly exhaled. He helplessly said, “These words can’t be counted…”

“It counted,” Yan Jin quickly interrupted. Then, he seriously and solemnly said, “Sui Xian is willing to hold hands with me. Sui Xian is willing to be held by me. Sui Xian always protects and tolerates me. Even when I’ve offended, Sui Xian wouldn’t get angry…”

He added quietly, “The book said, this is because Sui Xian also likes me. I think this should be counted as valid.”

Shen Zhixian: “ … ”

He wanted to immediately catch the foolish disciple that had written these groundless books and send him to plant melons. Plant melons for a year! No! Plant melons for three years!

Shen Zhixian was silent for a long time before he finally sighed helplessly. Using his free hand, he rubbed the space between his eyebrows until he was completely calmed. “A’jin, you’re a little drunk tonight. I’m afraid you’re a little drunk and a little confused. I can be your teacher, and I can be your brother. Only, this matter…”

He spoke like he was coaxing a child. “I hope you can think it over again. This isn’t a trivial matter that you can quickly make a decision on. I don’t want you to make an abrupt decision based on these books or on someone else and then regret it later.”

Yan Jin looked at him in a daze for a long time. Then his eyelashes faintly trembled, and he carefully said, “I won’t regret it. I’ve already carefully thought it through. Sui Xian, can I?”

In the dim candlelight, Yan Jin’s eyes gleamed brightly, with only Shen Zhixian’s image reflected within their depths. He looked at Shen Zhixian as if he was looking at a treasured person who belonged to him only. He murmured, “It’s not because of the books nor due to anyone else…”

Yan Jin’s hand trembled slightly and, because he held Shen Zhixian’s hand so tightly, Shen Zhixian’s hand also shook with him.

Shen Zhixian suddenly had a strange feeling in his heart, as if he’d done something bad and said something wrong, and somehow he felt a sense of guilt.

He forcibly suppressed the weird feeling and saw that Yan Jin’s mood seemed a bit wrong. Thinking of Yan Jin’s slightly red eyes in the secret realm, Shen Zhixian resolved his heart. He took the initiative to lean forward and hug Yan Jin. Then, he lightly patted him on the back before quickly pulling back.

“Good. I understand. But, this thing is very sudden for me. Would A’jin give me some time to think it over?”

Shen Zhixian’s voice was much gentler than the spring breeze in March, soothing Yan Jin’s emotions. He released Shen Zhixian’s hand and instead held Shen Zhixian’s whole body in his arms. Resting his head on Shen Zhixian’s shoulder, he moodily muttered a sound of consent.

He was slightly taller than Shen Zhixian and can easily embrace Shen Zhixian in his arms. Their two bodies were a good fit, as if they were born to embrace each other.

Shen Zhixian wrapped his arms around Yan Jin, feeling his hot chest and listening to his strong heartbeat. Shen Zhixian closed his eyes, suddenly feeling as if he’d eaten a jujube pill.

He’d always thought that he was cooking Yan Jin in warm water, scheming to turn a reborn Yan Jin full of killing intent into a good disciple. But, he didn’t expect that, in the end, he was the frog cooked by Yan Jin.

Yan Jin quietly occupied every corner of his life.

The first person he saw every day was Yan Jin. The first person he spoke to was Yan Jin. When Yan Jin was angry, he instantly wanted to coax him. When Yan Jin was sad, he felt worried. He couldn’t bear to see Yan Jin feel aggrieved, and he would also feel aggrieved with Yan Jin.

He tried very hard to persuade himself that this was the normal attitude that a master would have toward his disciple. His care and concern for Yan Jin was completely normal.

But then, after Yan Jin had mentioned that sentence, all kinds of scenes from the books came to his mind.

He recalled the contents of the books little by little and, for the first time, put himself and Yan Jin inside the story.

Then, he discovered that the books were actually very harmful.

He was afraid that the words within the books might cause trouble, after all.

———————–
Xixi: I found this scene to be sweet and romantic and funny. Shen Zhixian’s reaction was both very realistic yet open-minded, even though he was slowly and obliviously being bent by Yan Jin.

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