Love Delusion: Chapter 46

Lin Anran was really not used to Boss Shang falling into the mortal world from a height overlooking him, thereby becoming a person on equal footing with him.

That night, when Lin Anran inadvertently passed by him, Boss Shang was just about to step into the bathroom to take a bath. But when he saw Lin Anran, he retreated and stood there, looking at him with waiting eyes.

Lin Anran stopped and realized that Boss Shang didn’t dare wash first and was trying to give him priority to the bathroom.

Lin Anran hurriedly waved his hand and said no, let Boss Shang wash first.

It wasn’t until after Lin Anran promised that even if Boss Shang used the bathroom first, he wouldn’t break up with him, was he willing to raise his foot to enter.

Even before hugging Lin Anran as usual, Shang Hao would calmly ask him if he could hug him.

Although Lin Anran couldn’t adapt quickly, no matter what, Shang Hao was still Shang Hao. His aura hadn’t dimmed one bit for Lin Anran.

He still respected and loved the tall and stalwart Shang Hao, and he was determined to take care of the person in front of him as a temporarily sick Shang Hao.

When it was time for bed that night, after the lights were turned off, only Lin Anran’s head was protruding from the bulging mass under the comforter.

Lin Anran was holding a person under the comforter. He devoted himself to cradling Boss Shang’s head in his arms, giving him the guardian of love.

The man was born much taller than Lin Anran. He was now buried in his arms, using him as a pillow. Lin Anran, who was being hugged by him, felt as if he was being bound by an octopus. Ahh, the suffocations of love.

Faced with a Shang Hao like this, Lin Anran was helpless. However, he remembered that his own inferiority complex manifested in questioning whether Shang Hao loved him or not. In comparison, Shang Hao’s inferiority complex resulted in him trying to find opportunities to make as much physical contact with him as possible.

Lin Anran, who was blinded by the lard of love, thought this very confidently.

Lin Anran quietly opened the comforter, looked down at the head resting on his chest, and asked, “Is it stuffy in there?”

He spoke very softly and gently. Shang Hao was very fragile right now. Just now, he’d even asked Lin Anran if he could not go to work tomorrow, and so Lin Anran had to nervously coax him for a long time before he finally succeeded in convincing him otherwise.

Hearing Lin Anran’s question, the head on his chest shook silently, but the arms wrapped around Lin Anran’s waist tightened.

Lin Anran had to re-cover the comforter, leaving a little opening for air, and lightly patted Boss Shang’s hand.

He understood Shang Hao very well and felt sympathy for his hurt. Because people like them had a low sense of security, they often needed a great deal of attention.

Lin Anran deliberately woke up early the next day and made his only good sandwiches for them, cheering for a new day for Boss Shang.

Shang Hao got up a while later. He was washing up in the bathroom when Lin Anran appeared, wanting to ask him what kind of leafy vegetables he wanted on his sandwich today. He reached the door and glanced in at Shang Hao brushing his teeth.

This single glance took Lin Anran back to the past and he stared, trying to determine whether this person was an inferior Shang Hao or an arrogant Shang Hao.

Shang Hao’s current demeanor precisely displayed his natural aura of superiority.

For a moment, Lin Anran forgot what he wanted to ask. It was estimated that Boss Shang hadn’t awakened yet. But he quickly reacted. Withdrawing his gaze, he silently lowered his head, filled with a sorrow that was leaking everywhere.

Lin Anran hurried over and hugged the tall, sad man in comfort.

He tried his utmost to straighten his back so that he could press the tall Shang Hao’s head against his shoulder, trying to give him a sense of security.

It stood to reason that Lin Anran’s purely passive character wasn’t suitable for such active kisses and hugs, but because Shang Hao usually hugged and nuzzled him, Lin Anran’s ability to withstand physical contact had improved significantly.

Hugs and kisses were already commonplace. Let alone hugging the sad Shang Hao at this moment.

Shang Hao bent over. He opened a pair of deep, dark eyes on Lin Anran’s shoulders, and closed them again, hiding the satisfaction in his eyes.

If Lin Anran had paused for a moment in giving undivided comfort and glanced at Shang Hao’s expression, he might reasonably suspect that Boss Shang’s display of inferiority wasn’t authentic.

However, he didn’t. The big, tall man in his arms seemed to move unintentionally, and Lin Anran quickly comforted him, hugging him tighter.

Shang Hao’s acting was very superficial. People with genuinely low self-esteem wouldn’t keep bringing attention to his low self-esteem all day long. It could be said that he was very committed to this particular play.

That day, Lin Anran stayed home all day.

He never thought that Shang Hao would ever have low self-esteem. But he had to admit that the current situation had shortened the distance between himself and Shang Hao.

For example, he usually subconsciously didn’t dare to look directly into Boss Shang’s eyes, but yesterday, Lin Anran had tried hard to resist the urge to look away.

If he gave in and looked away, Boss Shang would think more of it. To put it bluntly, he didn’t feel that the current Shang Hao was as majestic or terrifying as before because he knew that he needed him.

Also, in the past, he was the one who was always being hugged and so he never had the opportunity to enjoy his boyfriend’s body before.

But now, he found himself taking the initiative to enjoy the male body. If he wanted to kiss, he could. If he wanted to hug, he could, and if he wanted to hold hands, he also could. Lin Anran had never been so arrogant in his life.

He must admit that his boyfriend’s body was really good to touch.

Really great.

Lin Anran waited all day for Shang Hao to get home from work. As soon as Shang Hao opened the door, he saw Lin Anran standing in front of him to greet him.

“You’re back.” Lin Anran stepped forward.

For a moment, Shang Hao couldn’t think of how to answer in a humble manner and so he lowered his head instead.

Lin Anran observed his expression and felt distressed for him.

This was followed by another sticky hug. As Lin Anran was hugging the inferior Shang Hao, he was thinking that this couldn’t go on. If his boyfriend continued to feel inferior, he would be bullied at the company.

He asked Boss Shang, “Do you feel better today than yesterday?”

Shang Hao thought for a moment, and then shook his head.

He asked Lin Anran back, “I have told you that I loved you for so long, but you never believed me, right?”

Lin Anran thought about it, and realized that he made a lot of sense. It was really thought-provoking. For the first time in his life, he realized that he, who had never wanted to cause trouble to others, had turned out to be so difficult.

But…But it was really hard not to believe that Shang Hao just loved his body!

What was so great about him? He was cowardly and useless, he couldn’t communicate well, and…

While in Lin Anran’s arms, Shang Hao laughed at himself. “I am really useless. I’m arrogant, and I don’t care about other people’s feelings. After so long, I still couldn’t even convince you that I love you. I’m a failure, right?”

Lin Anran was startled by his words.

No! Boss Shang needed to cheer up! He and Shang Hao should both cheer up!

In order to exchange experiences as patients, he thought and thought and decided to tell Boss Shang about what he was like before.

“I once went to the exhibition hall by myself to see you.”

In the past, Lin Anran would usually only go out when he had to see his psychiatrist. At that time, he thought he was living with an imaginary Shang Hao and so he would secretly follow all the news about the real Shang Hao. With some difficulties, he found out that Shang Hao was going to make a public appearance, and so he summoned the courage to go out alone and took the subway to see him.

In the downstairs lobby of that hall, he stood alone under the watchful gaze of the security guards. He stood for an entire afternoon without even seeing a shadow of Shang Hao.

In the end, he returned to the same place alone.

Lin Anran still did many such deeds. For example, he stupidly went to write a letter to the suggestion box downstairs of Tianneng Group, hoping that Shang Hao himself would read his letter.

He had never told Shang Hao about the details of these things he’d done. As if it was something that was left in the past.

The owner of those thoughts had buried them in the past, sealed together with the sadness and loneliness of that time. They were shelved away, and after some time, dust began to gather on them, with no one caring.

But at this moment, they were lucky enough to be brought out again. The recollection of one memory led to another, and they fell like dust, like brilliant stars, one after another…….

It was clear that these numerous stars had once shone so scorchingly for one person.

“But you will hug me every day after you get home. I was very happy at that time, so I forgot everything.”

“So I will hug you now.”

“Get well soon.”

Lin Anran told his story intermittently. That night, Shang Hao didn’t talk and only listened. He gently touched Lin Anran’s face, restraining himself. They hugged for a long time.

…

The next day Lin Anran went to the psychological counseling center.

This was the first time he was so eager to see Teacher Zhou. As he sat in the consultation room, Lin Anran asked Teacher Zhou a question very seriously, “Teacher Zhou, I have a friend…I want to know how to help him overcome his inferiority complex.”

With Shang Hao’s identity, it would be very inconvenient to tell others so Lin Anran kindly gave him anonymity. Because Teacher Zhou was a professional, he hoped to get more constructive suggestions from her.

When she heard this question, Teacher Zhou was stunned. Then, a gratified smile slowly spread over her face, and she looked at Lin Anran with a smile.

“A positive attitude toward problems is more important than anything else. The fact that your friend is finally willing to overcome his own shortcomings makes me very happy for him.”

“Anran, you have been improving recently.”

Lin Anran was taken aback. He understood her words but he couldn’t understand what she meant by “finally.”

He straightened and explained, “No, I really have a friend…”

Teacher Zhou continued to smile. “Yes, I believe you.”

Numerous small question marks appeared over Lin Anran’s head. Others had always used these four words, but why didn’t it work when it was him? Where had he gone wrong?

Doctor Zhou smiled as she gazed at him. She couldn’t bear to expose him, and had no alternative but to kindly ask, “Which friend?”

She was very pleased that Lin Anran was willing and determined to seek solutions for his problems. Once he accepted it and began to seek solutions, will he get better and better.

Lin Anran: ……….

Lin Anran: ……….

The main thing was that he had no experience with this. Lin Anran knew where he went wrong. He neglected to remember that he had no friends.

It seemed like there was one, but Lin Anran didn’t have much contact with him, so he didn’t want to trouble him with this matter.

Lin Anran was dumbstruck, unable to reply. He had no choice but to use himself as a substitute for Shang Hao.

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